Bored, Bored, Bored
by flamencochic
Summary: Some mindless Bob fluff. Suitable for all ages


Originally posted as a challenge response on PP. Your scenario is: It's mid-morning in Trenton, and Ranger and Steph are on a stake-out. Nothing seems to be happening, so they need to find a way to pass the time. It can be from any POV - Ranger, Steph, someone spying on them, a MM listening on a wire - your imagination is the limit, and in any setting. The only rule is, they can't get so distracted that they miss their skip!

**Rena's Wk 14 Challenge**

**Bored, Bored, Bored**

Bored, bored, bored, boy am I bored! I'm betting that Steph is too by the way she's fidgeting. It's hard to say about The Man. Sometimes you can't even tell if he's breathing or not. Sigh.

When Steph told me I got to go to work with her I was so excited. It took everything I had to not jump on her and lick her and just generally show her how excited I was. OK, so I jumped on her and licked her anyway. That's what dogs do right? If I'd known I would just be sitting in the back of the car that belongs to that guy who smells just like I want to smell, like the alpha dog in a pack, I don't think I'd have been quite as excited. Oh, who am I kidding? I'd still have been excited.

After all it beats sitting in Joe's house watching ESPN all day. You'd think he'd realize I'm a bored eater by now. It really doesn't matter what I eat either, just as long as I have something to chew on. Sigh.

I wonder what this leather tastes like. It sure smells good. It smells good enough to eat. Just a nibble probably wouldn't hurt. He wouldn't even notice.

"Babe, I don't like the way your dog is looking at my leather interior."

Dang, he's so darn observant. Well, what does he expect; there's nothing to do in this stupid car, van, SUV… whatever it is. There's nothing to do. I am soooo bored! Bored, bored, bored.

"It was your idea. Don't blame this on me. I told you Bob would be worse on a stake out than me. But you said it would make us look more normal."

Puh-leese. Not even an exceptional looking dog like me could help those two look normal.

"Did you bring any dog biscuits?" Did he just mention food? "I don't want him chewing on the interior of my car."

I'm pretty sure dog biscuits mean food. This deserves a little investigation. I think I'll stand up and stretch to see what I can see. I'll start with her because she's the one who feeds me.

She always smells so good, so clean and fresh. I could just sniff her all day. Only thing is I don't smell any food. I need food. Sometimes she has some of those really sweet things that taste so good. I'm just going to check her bag real quick.

"Stop it, Bob! Get your nose out of there."

Gimme just a sec. I think I smell something in the bottom that might be edible.

Gack! Snuffle… snort… pffffnff… what is that?! I can't get the smell out of my nose. That's just nasty. I thought it was sweet but it tastes like medicine. It's sticky too. I keep chewing and chewing but it just gets bigger. Help! Get it out! Somebody get it out! Cough! Hack! Aahhh there, that's much better.

"Babe, did your dog just cough up one of Lester's Chocolate Covered Cherry Flavored Condoms in my car?"

Even I know that tone doesn't mean anything good. Probably he agrees with me that she should have brought more food.

"What? It's not my fault Lester was passing out free samples the other day."

She looked down at what turned out not to be food and her face got all scrunchy. Uh oh. I'd seen that look before. That was how she looked when we walked and I did my duty as a dog.

"Sorry about the mess, Ranger. I'll clean it up. Bob, get in the back seat where you belong. We don't need you slobbering all over the inside of the car."

Hunh, well that's a fine how do you do. I probably saved her life and she sends me to the back seat. Fine, be that way. Sigh.

I look out the window to think. I bet if I'm real sneaky I can find some extra food. The man in black is always prepared, he's gotta have something. I'll just roll over on my side pretending I'm trying to get comfortable. I have to take it slow or he'll figure out what I'm doing. Now I'll close my eyes and pretend to sleep. He thinks he's so smart. I'll show him I'm an alpha dog. His kind understand actions better than words.

OK, I think it's safe to take a quick peek. They're not paying any attention to me. Good, my plan is working. Time to sttreeccchhh, I'll just leave my paws here on the center console. There's nothing going on here. Just go on about your business. Pay me no never mind. I have to take quick peek when I hear a noise from the front seat. It sounds almost like Steph is snickering. They're both staring straight ahead, so I'm OK. I take another look at The Man and he's almost smiling. He does that a lot. Wonder what's amusing him? It doesn't matter as long as he's not paying attention to me.

Now I'll just ease my nose up to my paws. Slowly… slowly. They'll never notice how close I am until it's too late. I'll just pause like this for a few minutes. It wouldn't do to become impatient at this stage in the game. Sigh. That should convince them I'm just as bored as they are. Another quick peek just to make sure I'm in under the radar. They're grinning at each other but not looking at me so I'm safe. I wonder what's so funny? Oh well…

I'll just start to ease up a little farther. Still taking it slow. There. I'll just rest my nose on my paws like I stretch out like this all the time. They don't need to know how uncomfortable it is. If I get the food it will be worth it.

I think it's time to change tactics. I'm going to stand and streeccchhh. Maybe throw in a big Yaawwn. OK, now to see what there is out the front window now that I managed to get back up here. There must be something I can use to my advantage.

Hmmm, there's a little old lady walking one of those annoying little yappers. They shouldn't even be considered dogs. Humpf.

Well now, this looks promising. That guy by the green car looks a little shady. Joe would give him a second look. Hey, if I can get The Man and Steph to go after this guy I can search the truck at my leisure. I'll have to make it good. I'll start off with an 'I don't like this guy' Grrrrr ruff grrr grrr. Now for my patent 'I'm gonna get you' bark BARK BARK bark. Grrrrr BARK BARK BARK. I've got to make them think I want out of the car so I'll just scramble over Steph and maybe scratch at the window a couple of times. Bark BARK bark grrr BARK.

"Bob, stop it! Be quiet." A couple more BARK BARK's should do it.

"Babe, that's our skip." Boy, The Man sure is fast. But it looks like that guy I was barking at is too. Sucker. I better get out of Steph's way so she can help.

"Stay, Bob." And there she goes. Wow. I have the car to myself just like I planned. **How exactly did this happen** again? I'm gonna have to remember it for the next time I need to search for food. That was perfect. Man, am I a genius or what?! I amaze myself with my own brilliance some days.

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My muse tends to go bonkers if she thinks no one is reading her stuff, and the only things she recognises are reviews. So for my sanity please review.


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